Ali Miller, MFT - Helping you live an authentic, empowered & connected life

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There's Room for Everyone to Complain
“Hear me!”: Some Thoughts on Listening and the Longing to be Heard
The Foundation of Self-Compassion
When Life Sucks: Buddhism, NVC, and Mourning
The #1 Key to Better Relationships


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August 2016

When Life Sucks: Buddhism, NVC, and Mourning

As I sit at my desk in California, awaiting the trick-or-treaters, an e-mail my sister just sent me is reverberating through my mind. She wrote from New York, "No power. No school. Halloween postponed 'til next Friday."  I picture my little niece and nephew all dressed up in their adorable costumes, having to wait over a week to celebrate one of their favorite holidays.
As the Buddha taught, sometimes life really sucks.
I'm writing this in the immediate aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, and am struck by the theme of loss that seems to be calling out for my attention this month, so I thought I'd muse on the topic of mourning, and offer some insight and support I've learned from my adventures in both Buddhism and Nonviolent Communication (NVC).

The #1 Key to Better Relationships

The #1 Key to Better Relationships
Yesterday it hit me that there really isonething I believe is the key to better relationships, so I wanted to share it with you immediately. I hope it leads to more moments of connection for you!
I’m going to keep it short and sweet, because it’s really simple (though definitely not easy).
If you want to improve your relationships, stop making other people responsible for your feelings.
That’s it. That’s the key.
As long as you are making other people responsible for your feelings, you are caught in the blame game.