Ali Miller, MFT - Helping you live an authentic, empowered & connected life

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Transforming "Not Enough" Thoughts with Mindfulness and Compassion

What lies about your "not enough-ness" did your mind tell you today? How did you respond?

While scrolling through Facebook this evening, I noticed a sinking feeling in my chest and could sense my upper body contracting. Luckily, thanks to my mindfulness practice, I was able to notice the unpleasant feeling right away and trace the feeling back to the thought that went something like, "I'm not informed enough."

I felt relief in noticing the thought and identifying it as one of those pesky "not enough" thoughts. It loses its power when I can see it for what it is: a not-enough thought.

And then I can inquire into what life-giving message this not-enough thought might have for me. In this case, why is it important to me to be informed? I want to be informed because I want to belong. Ahh, self-compassion arises. I'm a human being who wants to feel a sense of belonging with other human beings.

That "pesky" thought was reminding me of how much I love belonging, feeling a part of something bigger than myself, connected to others and connected to the world's people.

Now, with this clarity about what's important to me, I can focus my attention on ways to attend to that need for belonging, rather than indulging the painful, life-alienating "I'm not enough" thought.

How can you apply this to any of the not-enough thoughts that arose in your mind today?

4 Comments to Transforming "Not Enough" Thoughts with Mindfulness and Compassion:

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Maria on Tuesday, December 22, 2015 1:30 PM
Ah but we are all connected, aren't we? We share the same consciousness which is a pretty big thing when you think about it.
Reply to comment
Ali Miller on Thursday, December 24, 2015 9:09 PM
Ah, thanks for the reminder, Maria. I always feel so relieved when i remember that.

CJ on Wednesday, December 30, 2015 11:07 PM
Hi Ali! Thank you so much for this article. I came across your website via the self compassion and anxiety on psychcentral. I just wanted to say that I totally can relate to the facebook and self doubt/not enough-ness experience! This happens to me and several of my friends. Thank you for writing about it. I too am on a journey from not-enough to "I am enough", and I find mindfulness to be an amazing tool. Happy new year to you!
Reply to comment
Ali Miller on Sunday, January 03, 2016 10:24 PM
Hi CJ: I'm so glad you wrote and delighted that you found me through PsychCentral. Wishing you all the best on your journey!

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