Ali Miller, MFT - Helping you live an authentic, empowered & connected life
RSS

Recent Posts

There's Room for Everyone to Complain
“Hear me!”: Some Thoughts on Listening and the Longing to be Heard
The Foundation of Self-Compassion
When Life Sucks: Buddhism, NVC, and Mourning
The #1 Key to Better Relationships

Categories

Anxiety
Assertiveness
Authentic Connection
Befriending Ourselves
Empathy
Group Therapy
Mindfulness
Nonviolent Communication
Self-Compassion
Self-Empathy

Archives

November 2018
February 2017
January 2017
August 2016
July 2016
May 2016
December 2015
September 2015
July 2015
April 2015
February 2015
December 2014
March 2014

powered by

My Blog

Obstacles to Assertiveness

I was recently featured in an article on PsychCentral.com about obstacles to assertiveness. Here is the article, written by Margarita Tartakovsky.  Click here to read the article on Psychcentral.com.

5 More Obstacles that Prevent You from Being Assertive
by Margarita Tartakovsky

Many things can squelch our attempts at being assertive — before we ever even start to express ourselves. In a previous piece we talked about three obstacles that stall assertiveness: a sinking self-worth; our fear of disconnecting with the other person; and lack of communication and emotional management skills.

Assertiveness: The Art of Respecting Your Needs While Also Respecting Others' Needs

I was recently featured in an article on PsychCentral.com about the art of assertiveness. Here is the article, written by Margarita Tartakovsky.  Click here to read the article on Psychcentral.com.

Assertiveness: The Art of Respecting Your Needs While Also Respecting Others' Needs
by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. 

Assertiveness lies on a spectrum. On one extreme you’ll find passivity. On the other extreme is aggressiveness. According to psychotherapist Ali Miller, MFT, “Passivity often results from the belief that ‘

What Do My Feelings Have to Do with Nonviolence?

What Do My Feelings Have to Do with Nonviolence?

When people come to Nonviolent Communication (NVC) classes I teach, some students are surprised by how much attention we invite them to put on their own feelings. The sentiment goes something like, “I thought I was here to learn how to communicate better. What do my feelings have to do with it?” If you’ve ever wondered about this, I hope this piece will help draw out the connection for you.
 
Some background: I was inspired to write about the connection between our inner lives (our thoughts, feelings, and needs) and violence/nonviolence after reading a discussion today on a family member’s Facebook page.

Practicing Self-Compassion When You're Struggling with Anxiety

I was recently featured in an article on Psychcentral.com about ways to practice self-compassion when you're struggling with anxiety. Here is the article, written by Margarita Tartakovsky.  Clickhere to read the article on Psychcentral.com.

Practicing Self-Compassion When You're Struggling with Anxiety
by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.

People who struggle with anxiety often beat themselves up about it. "I should be able to handle this." "There must be something seriously wrong with me.

5 Benefits of Group Therapy

I was recently interviewed for an article on Group Therapy, which was published on PsychCentral.com on April 5, 2015. http://psychcentral.com/lib/5-benefits-of-group-therapy/00021635

5 Benefits of Group Therapy 
by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. 

For many people “group therapy can be more powerful and mutative than individual therapy,” according to Judye Hess, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist who has a private practice with couples, families and groups in Berkeley, Calif. 

There are many types of group therapy.

Self-Compassion: What it is and How to Practice it

I was recently interviewed about self-compassion for an article by Margarita Tartakovsky on a popular mental health website called PsychCentral.com. Here is a link to the article, and I copied the questions and answers below it.http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2015/02/15/how-to-practice-self-compassion-when-you-think-you-cant/

Margarita Tartakovsky: What are the top 3 to 5 reasons you think practicing self-compassion is important?

Ali Miller:The opposite of self-compassion is self-criticism, and self-criticism is an experience of inner conflict.

Ho Ho Hum: Coping with Sadness During the Holiday Season

It’s that time of the year again. Or, as some may say, it’s that time of the year again!!

Whether you’re the most enthusiastic merry-maker on your block or the most cynical Grinch there ever was, there’s one thing we who live in the United States all have in common during the month of December: Christmas is inescapable. From the non-stop jingle bells tunes on the radio and in the stores, to the incessant commercials selling the hottest new gadgets that little Jimmy is sure to love, to the glowing lights and manger displays filling up the streets, the message is clear.

“She’s so rude!”: Transforming Judgments with Nonviolent Communication

"She's so rude!": Transforming Judgments with Nonviolent Communication

“NVC helps us create a more peaceful state of mind by encouraging us to focus on what we are truly wanting rather than on what is wrong with others or ourselves.” –Marshall Rosenberg 

About halfway through the meditation class I was at tonight, a woman came in during the dharma talk (late) and set up her cushion directly between me and the teacher, completely blocking my view. Being that I was at a meditation class, I was extra-attuned to the thoughts passing through my mind, and was interested (though not really surprised) to see that the first thought that arose went something like, “Oh my god.

Pee When You Have to Pee, and Other Simple Ways to Befriend Yourself Throughout the Day

Pee When You Have to Pee, and Other Simple Ways to Befriend Yourself Throughout the Day

Being compassionate towards ourselves, research shows, is a major contributor to mental health. No longer limited to the realm of transpersonal or Buddhist-influenced psychology, articles on the benefits of self-compassion are popping up in mainstream periodicals such as Harvard Health Publication and Scientific American. There’s no question that befriending ourselves is a powerful and transformative approach to healing low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and a host of other variations of human suffering.