Tired of having the same fight over and over again?
Has your relationship become a source of stress, rather
than a source of joy and support, like it used to be?
Navigating the challenging terrain of romantic relationship can be overwhelming and exhausting. Intimate relationships bring up our deepest vulnerabilities and insecurities and force us to see parts of ourselves we may not have even known were there. Most of us never learned how to be with the difficult emotions that inevitably come up in relationships, and when these emotions are not tended to, we can end up saying or doing things that get us further away from the loving connection that we actually want.
I'm guessing you are longing to feel the love and support that you felt in the beginning of your relationship. And that you are feeling discouraged that you will ever find a way through this together. You are reaching out because you still have at least some hope that something different is possible. I'm glad you're here and I believe I can help.
In couples counseling, I begin by creating a safe space
for you and your partner to come together to talk openly and honestly
about the issues in your relationship that are troubling you. I will listen empathically to each of you and help you each identify what your feelings and needs are. I will support you in rebuilding or nurturing your connection through deeply hearing and understanding one another, and I will help you communicate authentically and empathically with each other so that you can work together
to find solutions that are mutually satisfying.
Couples counseling may be for you if you want to:
- Improve communication skills
- Understand your own and your partner's motivations better
- Gain clarity about significant decisions
- Learn tools for resolving conflicts more effectively
- Spend more time enjoying each other and less time fighting.
Here is an article I wrote called "The #1 Key to Better Relationships," which captures some of my thoughts on how to improve relationships.
Here is the philosophy that is at the core of my approach to supporting couples in conflict: "Conflicts, even of long standing duration, can be resolved if we can just keep the flow of communication going in which people come out of their heads and stop criticizing and analyzing each other, and instead get in touch with their needs, and hear the needs of others, and realize the interdependence that we all have in relation to each other. We can't win at somebody else's expense. We can only fully be satisfied when the other's person's needs are fulfilled as well as our own." -Marshall Rosenberg, creator of Nonviolent Communication
My office is a safe space for folks who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning, queer, intersex, asexual, and any orientation not listed here. Heterosexual folks welcome, too! I'm also poly-friendly.
My approach to couples counseling is rooted in my extensive training in Nonviolent Communication and is also informed by what I've learned from three of the most prominent trainers in couples therapy: Dr. Sue Johnson (Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples) and Drs. John and Julie Gottman (Gottman Method Couples Therapy). I completed Level 1 training with John and Julie Gottman, and am an approved member who can administer The Gottman Relationship Checkup.
Call (415) 820-1433 or email me to set up a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation to find out how couples counseling can help. Want some instant support and inspiration? Click on the Self-Compassion Resources tab for an abundance of free resources on inner peace and compassionate self-care.
"Could a greater miracle take place,
than for us to look through
each others' eyes for an instant?"
~Henry David Thoreau
Ali Miller, MFT
(415) 820-1433 firstname.lastname@example.org
1600 Shattuck Avenue, Suite 200, Berkeley, CA 94709
Providing person-centered psychotherapy, couples counseling, women's groups, & NVC training and consultation
in the San Francisco Bay Area
Offices near: Oakland, Albany, El Cerrito, Richmond, East Bay, Berkeley, Orinda, San Francisco